were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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