While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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