Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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