I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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