she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
