I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
