I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
