If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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