either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
