Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
