Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the day after is always just damage control
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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