Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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