mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
