My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
