I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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