He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
