the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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