I just pynch a tree in the face
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I love you. Go after that dick
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize