even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
