I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
