My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
