piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
