I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
