He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
