Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize