its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
