didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
