Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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