He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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