The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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