Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
