he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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