did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
im holly from the hills drunk
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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