You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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