At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
