Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
