yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
