i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
