The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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