wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
