saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Two words: blizzard sex
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
that may or may not have been my penis.
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