i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
