I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Panties = found
Randomize
