my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
As shirtless as possible
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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