"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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