why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize