she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He had one of those small greek statue penises
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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