Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
