so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
