What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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