Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
