I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
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