i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
