If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
