I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
