If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize