literally had 100 drinks last night.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Randomize
