She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
