It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
