dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
