my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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