the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Randomize
