1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
