i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
