If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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