they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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