try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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