I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
