Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
