She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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