respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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