the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
